Have you ever hidden a bad report?

Last Friday marked the end of the third school term for many children across South Africa. Along with the end of term comes that familiar worry: what will the school report look like?

In a letter that went viral, a teenage boy told his father that he had run away to elope with his girlfriend. He went on to say that the two of them would be living in the woods, where they “dream of having many children”.

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The boy goes on to list a number of other shocking future plans that would drive any parent to their wits’ end. But just before his father can topple over from a heart attack, the teen wrote: "P.S.: Dad, none of the above is true. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the table”.

Talk about going to great creative lengths to stay out of trouble!

What’s the craziest thing you or your children have ever done to soften the blow of a bad report?

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Here is the full letter:

“Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact she’s much older than I. But it’s not only the passion Dad; she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with other people in the commune—for all the cocaine and ectasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15, I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I am sure we’ll be back to visit so that you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love,

your son, Joshua

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report card that’s on the kitchen table. Call me when it’s safe for me to come home!”