Doritos is making 'lady-friendly' chips just for you
Doritos is coming to the rescue of all women who face that well-known dilemma: finding a way to eat chips without all the noise, crumbs, and embarrassment. All hail Doritos!
In news that is so ridiculous it must be true, PepsiCo (the company that owns Doritos) has announced plans to launch 'quieter' Doritos made especially for women who are embarrassed to chomp down on noisy chips in public.
This is a problem that Indra Nooyi, the global chief executive at PepsiCo, says is necessary to rectify because 'unlike men, women do not like to crunch loudly or lick their fingers when eating crisps in front of other people'. The new Doritos will also come in smaller packets, all the better for women to fit their snacks snugly into their handbags.
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Finally, someone is coming in to solve this problem for all women! Soon you will be able to enjoy your crispy chips without worrying about the noise, the mess or judgment from men at the office who will look at you strangely for even attempting to enjoy a light snack between meals.
Reactions to the launch have been laced with amusement and outrage:
In response to Doritos lady friendly crisps I shall be eating the biggest crisps I can find crunching really loudly burping and carrying a packet of crisps as a handbag
— kate ford (@kateford76) February 5, 2018
Society: What can we do to make equality a reality?
— Brenock O'Connor (@Brenock_OConnor) February 5, 2018
Women: Pay us an equal wage and-
Doritos: Did you say Lady Crisps?
Women: What? No, why would we-
Society: Lady Crisps it is! https://t.co/vy6xODoN59
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Literally HOW do you gender a packet of crisps? Because this reads as shaming women for eating normally and making noises when they chew. You know, like humans do. https://t.co/qRdCCIZegH
— Georgina Adlam (@GeorginaAdlam) February 5, 2018
Would you be keen to purchase these marvellous noiseless chips once they hit the shelves?