How to talk to your kids about sexting before it becomes a problem

There are many consequences of the bad variety that can happen as a result of sexting, especially if it's done by children. Many kids are now exposed to social media and may find themselves sharing, sending or posting sexually explicit messages or images. 

Even though some kids and teenagers are manipulated into sharing compromising pictures of themselves, some do it without thinking of the negative consequences, which can affect the rest of their lives.  But talking to your children about sexting can help them avoid making one of the worst mistakes of their young lives. 

Counsellor Pretorius of Life Counsel warns that if parents avoid talking to their children about sexting, the kids might end up learning from behaviours and attitudes modeled by other adults, the media, popular culture, and from their peers. 

"Our children live in a highly sexualised society where they are exposed to sexual language, images, and behaviours before they are developmentally prepared to handle them. So more than ever we have a great responsibility to educate and raise them to become responsible adults, have good values, and know how to handle themselves sexually to set up healthy boundaries," says Pretorius.

He advises that the best time to talk about sexting is when your kids are about 12 years of age or when they start asking questions. 

"Parents should try and find opportunities and then start the conversation. This is all part of developing a relationship. If there is a healthy relationship, it makes it a lot easier to talk about certain topics. For example, if you have watched a movie where there was romance involved, you can ask the children to share their thoughts about romance and love or you can share your own experiences. Use media and talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly, and this will give them a healthy view on how to make good decisions one day," he adds. 

But Pretorius warns that parents should avoid being negative and judgmental.

"A lot of times parents give their children the talk about what not to do. Don't have sex, don't get pregnant, don't get a sexual disease, but it should rather be where parents can talk openly to their children about sex and let your children know they deserve to have great sex," he says. 

"Discussing what’s good about sex will help them to have positive standards by which to judge sexual experiences. Help your kids know why sex is worth waiting for and give them some realistic guidance on how to prepare themselves and make sure that they know there are a right time and place for sex."

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