Don’t be owned by love

Love is patient, love is kind … we all know what love is supposed to be and what it means, but do you know when it’s not really love at all?

Everyone wants to love someone and to be loved by someone. However, getting swept up in the romance and displays of affection means we don’t always know if what we’re feeling really is love.

Many people are owned by the idea of love, and it’s this idea that it is love, that allows their partners to hurt them.

This Valentine’s Day, life coach Pandora Mabai gives us 14 reasons why it might not be love you’re feeling.

Sister it’s not love when …

1. He scares you.
2. He is all about sex.
3. He complains that your “womanhood” is too big and doesn’t satisfy him.
4. He compares you to his ex or your friends.
5. He keeps your relationship a secret from his friends or family.
6. He always has an excuse for not responding to your texts or answering your calls.
7. He always goes out with his friends but never takes you out.
8. He isolates and disconnects you from friends or family.
9. He prevents you from pursuing your career, ambitions and goals by destroying your self-esteem.
10. He disrespects, disregards or humiliates you in front of other people.
11. He physically and emotionally abuses you.
12. He cheats on you.
13. He abuses alcohol or drugs and refuses to get help.
14. He picks a fight with you every single day.

Brother it’s not love when …

1. She crushes your ego.
2. She is all about money.
3. She complains that your “manhood” is too small and doesn’t satisfy her.
4. She always has an excuse for not responding to your texts or answering your calls.
5. She compares you to her ex, your friends or her father.
6. She keeps your relationship a secret from her friends or family.
7. She flirts with other wealthier guys in your presence.
8. She wants you to pay her bills but doesn’t contribute in any way to your life goals.
9. She criticises, mocks and discourages your ambition, goals and career.
10. She insults you, undermines or disrespects you in the presence of others.
11. She is always giving you ultimatums and threatening to leave you if you don’t comply.
12. She stops you from supporting your family and your children.
13. She terrorises your baby mama and bullies your children.
14. She picks a fight with you every single day.

ALSO READ: The married guy’s guide to a great relationship

Image courtesy of iStock/ GeorgeRudy

Connect with Pandora Mabai on [email protected], YouTube,  Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.