10 things you should stop telling your kids

Many parents do not realise that the things they say to their children could stay with them for the rest of their lives.

It is important to be aware of what you say to your kids and how it could be affecting them.

Here are 10 things parents should avoid saying to their children. 

Why can’t you be like your sister?

This is one of the biggest mistakes parents make when trying to discipline their children. Comparing one child to another in order to get them to behave differently will have lifelong effects. Instead of focusing on their own development, they will constantly be comparing themselves to what their sibling is doing and not feel good about where there are. Each child is different and needs to focus on their own race instead of worrying about what is happening in someone else’s lane.

Don’t eat that, it will make you fat

Telling your child to stop eating like a pig or he/she is going to be fat will not do anything for their self-esteem. They could very well end up having a bad relationship with food and be obsessed with their weight. Instead, fill your home with healthy food and snack options instead of junk food. 

Your father/mother is so stupid 

Many parents say a lot of things in frustration that they often regret. One such thing is complaining about your partner in front of your children. This will affect how they see that parent and it could affect their relationship. Keep it to yourself.

Stop acting like a baby

When children cry, many parents tell them they should stop crying like a baby. But if your children feel like crying, you should allow them to do so, because this is their way of expressing their feelings. If you stop children from showing their emotions, you won’t know how they are feeling and how you can help.

Sex is bad for you

Talking to children about sex can be a difficult topic for most parents, but avoiding the issue by stating that sex is bad for them is the worst thing you can do. Depending on your child’s age, it’s best to be as open and honest as possible. Use this as an opportunity to educate them about sex, so when they do decide to have sex, they know everything they need to know to stay safe. If you feel your child is too young to know everything about sex, introduce sex education that is appropriate for their age and keep the discussion going as they get older. 

Please, just shut up

When parents are really busy or trying to concentrate on something, they can get pretty blunt with rowdy children and even go as far as telling them to “shut up”. This is not only rude, but could give the impression that you find them irritating or have no time to deal with them. 

Be a man/ girls don’t do that

Stop telling your children that boys can do this and girls can do that. Cooking and cleaning is not just for girls, the same way that football is not just for boys. Allow your children to do and try things regardless of their gender. Parents should also not tell boys who are emotional to man up or be a man. 

Don’t worry about the finances

Yes, children should not have to worry about paying the electricity bill or buying groceries for the home, but it is important that you give them insight into money management or financial wellbeing. Sometimes parents argue about money and children might become concerned. Instead of brushing off their worry, use the opportunity to educate them about how money is used to run a home. This will also benefit them in the long run. 

I am so ashamed of you

This is one way to make any child feel bad about themselves. When expressing disappointment, some parents can go overboard. Instead of making your child feel like they have dishonoured the family, have a heart to heart with them about why this has disappointed you. Give them the opportunity to also express their feelings.

Why can’t you do anything properly/right?

Don’t make your children feel useless by being too hard on them when they do something wrong. Not only will you prevent them from learning how to do it right, but they could also decide not to try anything new in case they don’t do it right and disappoint you once again.

Also read: Children see, children do